Is my child autistic?

I remember the exact moment when I thought Anthony might be different. When he wasn't doing something that all the other kids in the antenatal mums group were doing.  I had my suspicions and was soon asking myself, is my child autistic?

How can I find out?  How can I help them?  Did I want to wait to find out?

No.

I've written posts like this before, because there is always a wait that is too long.   Another article, this time in the Guardian yesterday, reported that almost half of parents whose children have been referred for an autism assessment have to wait at least 18 months or more for a formal diagnosis, according to a survey by the charity Ambitious about Autism.

If you are caught in this limbo with your child, here are some things I can point to.

Firstly, you don't need a diagnosis to get help for your child at school.  See your school SENCO as a first point of call.  You do not need a diagnosis for an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) either - these are based in needs.  I've got more information on them here.

Secondly, there are many organisations you can talk to if you don't have a diagnosis but have had an assessment or are suspected of being autistic.  Ambitious About Autism offer a downloadable guide to autism in the early years and the National Autistic Society list the main signs of autism in children and what your rights are diagnosis.  They also have local branches will talk to you and support you in this.  I know it an be a worrying time and organisations like Skylarks  and other parents are invaluable.

I believe however, that getting a diagnosis was essential for our boys.  Both were diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) aged four years old.

Without this diagnosis I believe:

1. David would be in the wrong school (as his school requires an ASD diagnosis for admission)
2. David would not have learned sign language or PECS David may not communicate at all
3. David would not be able to play near other children
4. David would hit and hurt people
5. David would not be potty trained
6. David would not sleep unless exhausted
7. David would scream and cry a lot
8. Anthony would be struggling at school
9. Anthony would be considered naughty, would consider himself naughty, a constant failure
10. Anthony would be frightened of himself and others
11. Anthony would not know how to swim or ride a bike
12. Anthony would be angry all the time
13. Anthony would feel like a failure
14. I would feel like a bad mother
15. I would fear my boys
16. I would feel isolated
17. We would not be able to go on family days out
18. We would not be able to leave the children with other adult

18 points for each of the 18 months many are having to wait.  Thankfully I did not have to wait this long.  I did experience the next part of the survey results though. About 70% of those survey complained they were not offered adequate support after diagnosis, while a number reported being left without a follow-up appointment or additional information about support groups.

At the end of our diagnosis meeting - during which the word 'autism' was used for the first time by the assessing health practitioners -  I was handed leaflets.  A few were from autism charities above and one was for the local charity called Skylarks. I cannot express how important the diagnosis and these organisations have been for our lives and mental well-being.  The NHS support was another wait.

Finally, the only other thing I can say is that diagnosis or not, your child is still the same gorgeous child they were before assessment or suspicions.   Support them in whatever way you can, don't worry about getting things wrong (it's going to happen) and love them as you always have.