Why my autistic son spends hours playing on his iPad

A few weeks ago I watched a feature on the Victoria Derbyshire programme on kids and devices. The feature was highlighting that half of three to four year olds have their own phone or tablet.  I think if I told some people how long my son can play or should I say, is allowed to play, on his iPad I'd get strange looks. I know if I told people he spent hours everyday on it I'd be judged.

The group thought children should be playing on a devices for a maximum of an hour a day.  It's fair to say our son, David, is on his iPad for a lot more than this - especially during this last half term week.

Some kids and adults with autism use their iPads to communicate. There are great programmes like Proloco2go that means an iPad becomes a tool to interact. But that's not what David does. He communicates mostly with Makaton sign language. In fact, one of the first signs David learned was the sign for iPad. So obviously I'm using it as an alternative to real parenting right?

Parenting, the act of taking care of and supporting a child through to maturity, is a bit of a big ask from an iPad. But I'd be lying if I claimed that seven year old David isn't supported by his tablet device. David is amazing, he worked out how to use his iPad to support himself. So to the people who stare at me because my boy is on his iPad as we walk through the supermarket car park or in a cafe, here are a few things you should know about:

1. Sensory input

Let's start with an easy one. Tablets can play music, bright videos, display images in great details and can do this while being held in your hand. Like many kids with autism and other conditions, David's body senses feel out of balance and need levelling.

His iPad can give him a whole heap of sensory input which he can even combine with other things like being squashed, rocking in the rocking chair or yes, even jumping across the car park. If this is what he needs to feel level, it's great he can do it.  I'm not saying it's not annoying sometimes when we are struggling to hear our own family conversations at home.  We are trying to help him learnt o 'turn it down' or cope with headphones, but overall, it's worth putting up with.

2. Calming through routine

I think the iPad is extremely comforting for David. Many individuals with autism need routines as a way to cope with change. The iPad is a programme after all and this means it has no surprises. The games always play out the same way, time after time after time and this is incredibly reassuring and enjoyable for David.  He doesn't need to look for other ways to stay calm.

3. Pre-writing and reading skills

David is seven years old but he doesn't really want to hold a pencil. He has a lack of interest in writing and drawing. The iPad provides him with an opportunity to practice pre writing skills by drawing shapes, numbers and letters thorough various learning and drawing apps. He finds it difficult to engage in this in other ways. This at least gives him a start.

It's also full of phonics programmes he can engage with at his own pace and without pressure.  He's taught himself to read many words using the device.

4. Prevent a sensory overload

But didn't I just say the opposite in No1? It's possible that while walking across an empty supermarket car park that David needs input for his senses. But, get him inside the same supermarket and the device plays a different function. David is surrounded by shelves and shelves of colour, piles of people, bright lights, cold fridges, loud echoing tannoy announcements and constant beeping that's coming from the check-outs. These can cause a sensory overload.

He can still get stressed so we have his iPad in a super strong case to avoid him breaking it if he suddenly drops it.   But here, David can use the iPad to block out all this from his senses. He takes the calming routines particularly music programmes, turns them up to full volume and then holds it close to his face. This blocks out unexpected noise, light, sights and comforts him. 

5. Being in control and making decisions

If David has the iPad then he is the one in control of his environment and time. He is able to decide whether he needs an input or calming activity. He can make decisions about how he feels and what he wants to do. Interpreting their own feelings can be difficult for some people with autism and this is part of a process for him.

So, one of the greatest things about David's iPad is that he is using it to parent himself. He has taught himself and supports himself with these things. Asking him to be without his iPad when he needs it would be like cutting off his leg and asking him to walk. He might do it with support and therapy but it would be difficult.

If he is going to function in society then firstly I will encourage him to use any means that he can  to cope with how he feels and teach himself skills. Secondly, I will continue to look for and find other ways to help him learn and cope that will specifically involve communicating with others. And finally, I ask that you not judge the boy playing on his iPad or the parent next to him.  An hour a day on device might be too much for some kids and not enough for others. After all, David might just be preventing a meltdown.