The news is out (as is the bump). The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have chosen to go for a third child. And why not - children are wonderful, each unique and special. And maybe that's a good description of my parenting... err. unqiue and special?
It occurred to me on receiving the royal news that I have no idea about the inner workings of a royal home. What help they receive and I was suddenly reminded of some of the things I'd never have done with our first child Anthony, that Jane, our third, has either well and truly got away with or even simply had to endure. Some of which maybe even makes me question my parenting.
#1 Chocolate and ice-cream before she was 6 months old. I'll be honest, by the time I'd had Jane I couldn't remember what food etc was supposed to happen when. Both the boys had delayed areas of development that you could only register when they got older so I just got on with it with Jane. Maybe I was also just a bit more relaxed about things - I'd noted that with each of the other two the 'rules' about when to do what had changed and now realised much of the guidance was exactly that - guidance and not a baby bible to be obeyed as it seemed with my first.
#2 My four year old has watched (several) 12A movies. Well, it's either that or get complaints from the eldest that all we watch is 'baby stuff'. Unbelievably we have three (yes three) TVs downstairs and there is often also at least one iPad in operation and yet somehow I know Jane will be drawn to the excitement of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. If for no other reason than her older ADHD brother is literally jumping around in front of the TV for every action scene, of which there are a lot.
#3 Which brings me onto screen time. I sometimes worried that watching the CBeebies Bedtime hour might be too much for Anthony. Now entire season's of Ben & Holly will drift over the day. I'll be honest, I don't know how many screens are going in the home at once. It's true that the boys, and David in particular, uses the iPad for learning and keeping calm as many kids with autism do. However as I am typing there are four screens in use, in this room alone.
#4 Shouting and telling off. Jane may get away with watching movies too old for her and eating chocolate early (which I may add has definitely already turned into a life long relationship - she is so like her mother) but I'm afraid she got discipline (read naughty step) much earlier than the older two too. I think perhaps because she understood earlier than the boys about what she was doing.
She lied before she was three years old whereas I can still count Anthony's lies on one hand. The boy is so incredibly truthful. But it is also an operational requirement. When there are three to take on the school run, there's no time for naughtiness or uncooperative children. If I had to 'shout' them out the house, that's what happened.
#5 So.. being dragged on the school run. I had many many late mornings with Anthony. I'd be up feeding and then in the morning we would lounge around the bed together. Ok, so there was maybe a bit of TV for Anthony too, but the day was relaxed in it's start. No, not for Jane. After two weeks of Daddy being at home, Mummy (that's me) was taking three kids on a school run and then nursery run.
Our third child was (almost literally) thrown into a giant fluffy baby grow and into a car seat, into a Baby Bjorn, back into the car seat and back home again in what can only be described as a mad rush. Followed by a nursery run the middle of the day to take David to the specialist communications pre-school on the other side of the borough. She's also got dragged to many therapy and school appointments where we have tried to 'hush' her in the corner (...enter iPad...again).
There was no scheduled nap times or feeds - these fitted around car journey's and school pick-ups. I didn't think anything of handing Jane a bottle in her car seat. I once realised that Jane and I spent usually about four hours doing this everyday. I wasn't sure, but it seemed to me this was a long time to be strapped into a baby seat. Fair to say she's used to it now - and she needs to be as she starts reception in a weeks time.
Yet, despite my illustrious third child admissions, I delight in her and the boys everyday. Jane is blooming and the boys with her:
The way the kids look out for each other - never more obvious than when three year old Jane effectively saved her older autistic and ADHD brother from falling into the Thames.
The beauty of them playing together - particularly when at one point we thought the boys may never be able to play with other children at all.
Even the hand-me down delights:
Jane putting on the cutest tiger top that we were given eight years ago for Anthony. It was one of my favourites eight years ago and I was unbelievably smiley the day Jane first wore it.
So good luck dear Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. I'm sure your experiences will be different, but you will still hopefully delight in the wonders of your third child in their and your own unique way.
Did younger siblings in your family get away with or put up with more?
I laughed at you not knowing how many screens are going in the house at any given time. Phew! Glad it's not just me then. My littlest gets dragged on pick-ups too. Poor pet. No peace. #bloggerclubUK
ReplyDeleteWe only have one child but I can totally imagine letting things slide by the second and most definitely the third..! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub hun x
ReplyDeleteAs a fellow mum of three I can vouch for each and every one of these! I think as long as all three are loved and happy we're doing a bang-up job. Lovely post xxx
ReplyDelete1st child I followed the rules, 2nd child broke the rules, 3rd child I reigned back in and stuck to the rules again #triumphanttales
ReplyDeleteI took mine to see The Force Awakens when she was four. I don't even have the third kid excuse and I'm guilty of most of these! #blogginggoodtime
ReplyDeleteI do enjoy reading your posts and how your pride and love for your kids always shines through your writing. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful thing to read - thank you.
DeleteI think things have to be different with the third don't they? Because they really do have to just fit in with the routine that's already in place for the older ones! x #BloggerClubUK
ReplyDeleteIt's true - I can't give Jane the attention the others got. And sometimes their additional needs get extra attention too. She's such a trooper.
DeleteI laughed so much at the screen one. We changed our broadband recently and having to change it on every ipad, kindle, iPhone, iPod, PC, games console and TV was a full time job for the day. We've had to upgrade to ensure we can all watch at once without any cries of despair. #TheMMLinky
ReplyDeleteMy third/fifth* child didn't get much downtime in the mornings either, thankfully the school was really close then so he was in the buggy. (*I have two grown up children who where teenagers when my youngest three were born)
ReplyDelete#TheMMLinky
I typed this earlier but it seemed to go awol!! I found going from two to three kids really hard! Consistency is the first casualty of lots of kids, I think it's impossible to do everything the same but I try to be fair. Well done for being brave enough to share what we don't always admit! #TheMMLinky
ReplyDeleteI think the first child you want to do everything by the book, the second less so, but with some things you've picked up along the way. Third child is the child where you think you've mastered it so its no biggy! I saw this as a parent of one, who is himself only one years old haha!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back tomorrow.
I've only got the one and can't imagine trying to juggle more, you do what you need to do to get through the day #SmallStepsAA
ReplyDeleteIt is so difficult to juggle isn't it. You are doing great and sometimes we just need to get through the day x #smallstepsaa
ReplyDeleteAt the point when there are two individuals cooperating to bring up youngsters, we need to confront the difficulties with a unified front, or if nothing else attempt.Kids After Separation
ReplyDeleteAh, hope reception goes well for her! Third child syndrome... she'll be OK ;) #TheMMLinky
ReplyDeleteThis did make me smile :) I'm sure she'll be fine and ready to take on all comers in reception!
ReplyDeleteMy third child experiences were slightly different as we had 8 years between my eldest and T, then 18 months between T and D.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Jane will sail through Reception, she does sound a lovely character #SmallStepsAA
I can totally relate to this with my second. No third for us ;0) She is on the iPad way too much but it's hard to say she can't have it when her brother uses one so much. I hope Jane enjoys reception a school run will be totally new for us when it's our turn #SmallStepsAA
ReplyDeleteI can relate to all of these. I refuse to feel bad about screen time, my children govern that and I can tell their moods by the amount of time spent on there x
ReplyDeleteI'm a first child and pioneered the ground to break with my parents :) My brother got it easy!! :D Thanks for sharing with #PooLo x
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