Saved by a pack of M&S Dark Chocolate Lemon & Lime Jaffa Cakes

One of my girl friends loves the M&S Dark Chocolate Lemon & Lime Jaffa Cakes.  They are her go-to treat - worth their weight in gold. And though I'm not so sure that financially makes sense, she bought a pack over to my house the other day when she and her little boy came round for a play date with Jane.  And they were delicious.  Today I was going to drop some to her as a treat in return, but I couldn't.  Because yesterday I had to use them to save my son from himself. 

I rarely make the effort to go to M&S, which is draft really as I like their stuff.  I but happened to be there on a few days ago collecting some of the new easy dressing school uniform for Jane.  I still can't believe our youngest will be starting school in September.

While I was there I picked up a pack of the my mates Jaffa Cakes.  Her little boy had left his sunglasses at our place during the play date and I'd also finally dug out a virtually unused nursery logo sweater that Jane refused to wear but her little boy might get use out of.  I figured a little treat of Jaffa Cakes with the sunglasses and sweater left on her door step might make her smile.

That was my plan until about 5pm last night.

At 5pm last night, one of our autistic son's was playing in the garden.  I'd just managed to get him to have a few minutes off the iPad and he was jumping about on our climbing frame, spending a few minutes sliding and climbing, sliding and climbing. Then, all of a sudden a toy aeroplane flew over the fence. It was like one of those ones you got out of a kinder egg or at the fair ground - a few bits of coloured polystyrene spliced together in the middle.

It was nothing special - but for a moment it was the world to David.  It was as if a magical gift had been dropped from the sky for him to look after.  He was fascinated with it - and it took all my efforts, explanations, countdowns, persuasions etc to get it off him undamaged and hand it back over the fence to the boy who was obviously sad to have lost it over the fence.

I thought it would be OK.  It was not.

After making it obvious I would not allow him over the fence, David ran to the front door and tried to open it to chase down the boy and the plane.  He them climbed and grabbed keys to try and unlock the door.  When I'd managed to get rid of the keys and it became obvious to David he couldn't get out  to get to the plane (he even tried to get through tiny window gaps) he began to escalate - he began to become hysterical and unable to control his emotions.   I attempted to help David calm down by finding something he wanted more than the plane to grab his attention.  The iPad was rejected.. his favourite snacks were rejected.

I don't want to give the impression that David was being rewarded for bad behaviour.  He was not.

I sometimes try to imagine what it is that's upsetting David so much but I think it boils down to not knowing... not knowing if the plane is OK, what's going to happen to it, what will happen to him if he has no plane to look after?  Because in reality this is just one thing that David has to think about controlling so he's able to cope with every day.

So I searched my mind for something to snap him out of this escalating fear that was an any moment going to become an all consuming meltdown  bound to exhaust him and everyone near him.

Then a lightbulb.... there's those chocolate Jaffa Cakes.

We don't usually have chocolate in the house.  If David knows there is chocolate then there is little to stop him eating some.  His diet does not need any more sugar.

"Chocolate?" I asked and used Makaton to sign to David.

His bleary wet eyes looked up from his panicked face.  With his bottom lip and hands both quivering, he said and signed "Coocoo."  That's how David says 'chocolate'.

And I went and got the my mates box of M&S Dark Chocolate Lemon & Lime Jaffa Cakes.  David sat cross legged by the front door and ate 1/3 of the pack.  Then wiped his eyes and went off to play.

Once the pack was open there was no way, and in honesty no real point, of not letting the rest of the house finish them off.  Once they were gone, they would be gone and we'd be back at the 'no chocolate in the house' status quo.

But now of course, I've no M&S Dark Chocolate Lemon & Lime Jaffa Cakes to drop off at my friends, with the sun glasses and school sweater.  What do you think?  Wait a few days until I can get some more to drop off... or let her know, how in a funny way, she was there when I needed help?  Maybe both?  One thing's for sure, she was right - they were worth their weight in gold!