The love of my loud kids

Some people are aware that individuals with autism can be sensitive to loud noises so might be confused by our sons.  David has all devices at maximum volume all the time.  Our house is like a constant block party.  His older brother, Anthony, is himself extremely loud all the time. This can makes it difficult to tell when Anthony is distressed or needs help because when he shouts for it, he's not actually any louder than normal.  And we are trying to hear it over the rest of the music in the home.

Some people are just loud talkers. Bigger lungs, cultural and family circumstances are just a few reasons why some people speak loudly. And that's no different to children with autism. However, Anthony was and is constantly encouraged to express himself using language and maybe this effort comes out as quite a 'forced' sound. Often when he is reading, words he knows well come out more quietly than those he has to concentrate on.

It's also common for children with autism not to understand social situations or the perspective of others. Anthony simply doesn't realise that others find him loud or that being excessively loud in certain places, like a church or a library, isn't helpful. He also finds it difficult to concentrate on lots of things at once. If he's coping with the new environment and all the questions he has about the visit to the library then I have almost no chance in helping him to remember to lower his voice. Needless to say, we don't visit libraries often.

Mostly, we accept being loud as part of being Anthony. Sometimes we try and help him lower his voice for particular events so it's a better experience for him. The biggest difficulty though is being able to determine when he actually is using a loud voice for a purpose and needs my help, because it just sounds loud like it always does.

Yesterday evening, Anthony and his little brother were playing chase (sort of, as two ASD brothers might) and it spilled into the garden. I can see most of the garden from the kitchen so continued to empty the dishwasher etc. David was playing music from his iPad - he very adept at holding an iPad and doing almost anything.  

I could hear just about hear Anthony and his loud voice saying 'no no' as David got close and he didn't want to be caught and giggles coming from David. I heard the same thing again a few times, and then a slight pitch change. Anthony was probably getting excited. I looked over into the garden to see David, half way over the garden wall (still clutching the iPad at max volume) and Anthony holding onto his legs. Anthony was still shouting 'no no' and David was still giggling.

I ran over and rescued the situation. Whilst trying not to laugh at what was really quite a humorous sight, I managed to communicate to David that he should not climb over the wall. I reminded Anthony to use the word 'Help' and not just yell loudly when he needed to.   Then I thanked my instincts for noticing a pitch change in his voice when he was beginning to panic. Truth is most situations like this are approached with a sense of humour, it was quite a picture.

Then I had the best part of my day playing chase with them, an iPad, loud music and loud shouts and giggles in the garden until it turned into rough play on the trampoline - when I left the boys to it.