After 4 million minutes, it's finally time to say farewell to dummies

No, you read that right.  It's taken over 4 million minutes, or over 3,000 days, indeed over eight years for us to be dummy free in our house.  In that time President Obama was elected (twice), we've had several economic crises, Twlilight, the Lib Dems in and the Lib Dems out, Twilight was replaced by many with The Hunger Games and we are on the verge of Brexit.  It's been a while and I cannot even imagine how many dummies we have bought over this time.  There were at least 20 in the house the day they got thrown out - that was last Saturday.

I remember the first dummy we used. It was a tiny clear one that had happened to come with the bottle and steriliser set I'd bought.  I was pretty sure I wanted to breastfeed but was keeping an open mind about this whole parenting malarkey. Couldn't hurt to have the bottle set there in case.  I hadn't even thought about having dummies.  Of course it turned out that after the third night of holding a pinkie in my son's mouth so he would settle, that I was rooting around in the box for that precious 0-6 month dummy.  Since then they've been the constant in the home.. over eight years.

In that time, we've been the family that can't go out without a dummy.  Heck we wouldn't go out without a spare one. We were the family scrabbling around with a phone torch on an aeroplane or in the cinema looking for the elusive escaped dummy.  In the USA on holidays we bought 'pacifiers' and I searched for 'soothers' during each weekly shop.

We've gone through all brands, all sizes, all shapes.  Ones with holes, handles and even harnesses. I can tell you the regular offers because I hardly ever bought them in just a single pack of two. We must have gone through hundreds.  I definitely should have bought shares in them.  As the kids grew I tried to get ones that were a bit more discrete or quirky.    But my favourites also included the glow in the dark ones - a life saver in the middle of the night.  And ultimately it's this that's got them booted out the house.

All these years, dummies have been the soother in the home.  Two of my three children are on the autistic spectrum.  Both of them were very orally stimulated (nope, that's not rude).   People with autism can process their sensory systems differently.  They might cover their face from light because it hurts their eyes or find particular clothing as almost painful because of how it feels. Both my kids liked to chew and suck on things as a way of balancing how they felt and particularly coping with stress.  A bit like some people may bite their nails.

Dummies provided my kids with a security and this meant they were used a lot and far beyond their recommended years. And during that time we've been helping the kids cope with many parts of their autism.  This has included in David's case poor sleep and night waking. Up until the weekend, a dummy, or several were still part of night time routine.  He's also been on melatonin for the best part of a year but it's still not great.  We were finally referred to the sleep neurology department at Evelina's children hospital by Waterloo.

We met a very well educated and informed doctor who took notes and gave us some advice.  It's so nice to actually speak to someone who is at least an expert - even if it's not always the news you want. "It's quite possible that David just doesn't need as much sleep."  Urg.

However, whereas I was still sending David to bed with his sleep aid (that's a dummy and it was several infact), the specialist suggested that David scrabbling for his dummy when he wakes in the night might just be enough to prevent him falling back to sleep.

David has been able to cope without them in the day for most of the time for at least a year now.  And given that we also have a dental nurse as the kids Grandma, every one jumped on the idea of this being the time to get rid of them... for good.  Anthony was eight so obviously hadn't had a dummy for years, but that was none for Jane (who'd got away with having them because they were still in the house for her brother) and none for David.

I braced myself for the night from hell.

But it never came.  It wasn't much better, but it certainly wasn't much worse.  It made no difference to David and Jane just needed a bit more settling.  So really all good.

I'm a little in shock.  I know in the coming weeks we will find stashes of them around the home. And then I'll collect them and put them in ...the bin?  Seems a bit strange and foreign.  No more dummies on the shopping list.   No more dummies in the car, my handbag or lined up in a cup by the sink for washing.  No more fishing for the elusive dummies out from under the sofa, the kitchen table or the kids beds.  No more back-tracking down the road because 'we must have just dropped it'.

And one day soon I'll get Jane out of nappies and I'll never need to go near the baby isle again.  Then I guess I'll be able to write another post on the 5 million minutes we've had nappies in the home. Don't worry, I'll get round to it eventually... just give me a minute.

But for all the cost, the worry about how it will affect their teeth, and panic that sometimes ensued as I mentioned the phrase 'that's the last dummy' on a day out, the dummy has not just been a constant, but a constant soother.  And it's only now that it's job it over, we've finally been able to say farewell.


Did you use a soother? What gives your kids comfort?