An interview with Anthony - the bigger ones tag

My kids see the world differently to me.  Even Jane who currently doesn't seem to be on the autistic spectrum (won't rule it out though) is just three years old, so must see it differently too. I am always looking for new ways to gain an insight into the way they think, and now I have another one to try.

My blogging buddy Catie over at An Imperfect Mum (though I think I disagree?) also has a son with autism and went on the hunt for questions for an interview with him.  Although the Telegraph's 25 questions to ask your child was considered a bit long, Catie decided to condense them to 10 and wondered if like the Telegraph article suggested - she would be 'surprised by the answers'? Or cry or smile?

Catie's boys had some lovely answers and so Catie created the #BiggerOnes Tag...for bloggers to tag each other and find out more about their 'bigger' kids.  So without further waiting, here's the answers and what I discovered and how I felt.

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An interview with my 8 year old...

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1 Who's your best friend?

I don't have one. I suppose its you or dad. (So recently we've been telling Anthony that it's not nice to tell his little sister that he likes any other members of the family better, so now he's trying hard to have us all as equals!)

2 What do you want to be when you grow up?

A dentist, I used to want to be a baddie, like in films, but I've decided that's too violent for me. 

3 If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?

I'm already super! But I suppose I could be bigger and super!

4 What are the three best things about being you?

I don't know, I don't understand. 

5 What are the best and worst things about mum?

You don't have any worst bits. It's all the best.  (Aawwhhhhh, sniff sniff)

6 Can you name one thing that scares you?

Being on my own...
Really Anthony, but you like to be by yourself when you get back from school?
That's not the same as being on my own....

7 What’s the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?

Help me or hug me. 

8 How do you describe me to your friends?

What?

9 If you could go anywhere in the world for a day, where would you go?

Into a rocket.

10 Which three words describe you best?

Eh? Well in the rocket I'd be fast, fast, fast.

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Why can I never have an easy blog post?

I was struck my so many things asking Anthony these questions.  A rocket didn't surprise me too much - after all Anthony does Karting and loves going fast, but other things did surprise me or catch me off guard.

It was pretty obvious that he is having a lot of difficulty with his attention deficit (ADHD) and perhaps also his understanding as he simply didn't either understand or figure out how to respond to some of the questions. Mostly these were about thinking about communication or conversations, like describing things.  Even the last question, he could describe himself in terms of being in a rocket... but not himself?  Our lad can tell us he needs to put on intermediate tyres on a kart because he's not getting enough grip, but he couldn't tell me how he would describe me to his friends because 'I don't ever talk to my friends about you like that, so I don't know.'  It's a bit like Spock being asked 'How do you feel?' and he says, 'the question is irrelevant', though obviously it is not the case for Anthony.

For despite us knowing that Anthony is popular at school, he is scared of being on his own. For a boy who has difficulty communicating, understanding the actions of others, difficulty with understanding person space etc,  being on his own at times, like many other kids with autism is a definitely possibility - I got a bit sad when he said this.   His insight here floored me.  Deciding to be on his own, is not the same as being on his own...I think, he means lonely.

He also doesn't really see anyone at school as a best friend either, still listing family above peers. And why not.. when his mum has no worse bits (still wiping a tear away over that one).

My favourite answer, by far has to be to questions 3, where he already thinks he is 'a super'. Even if he lacks confidence in others maybe, its quite the achievement that he's got some in himself as its something he has really struggled with in the past.  Learning about his diagnosis definitely helped him there to see himself as the wonderful individual he is. This answer gave me big, ear to ear smile!

I hope you enjoyed the questions and answers. As per Catie's idea, I tired to think of a few brilliant bloggers with 'Biggers ones' to interview to tag... , here;s Catie's post to grab the badge.

• Stephs Two Girls
• Raisie Bay 
• Life with ASD & the Rest
• Debs Random Writings
• Bridie by the Sea

This post also supports The Makaton Charity #wetalkmakaton sign of the week 'Smile'