Jane loves her autistic brothers

Jane is two and a half years old. Despite her young age she has already accomplished many more things than her older brothers.  This is because as yet, Jane is the only child in the family not facing the difficulties associated with a diagnosis of autism.   She's developing in a more neuro-typical way, talking in near sentences, enjoying social interaction and to my absolute joy, declaring love for her siblings.

Jane's eldest brother Anthony is seven and if you ask him if he loves his family he will tell you that of course he does. David is five years old and can tell you if he wants something, but not really if he either likes it or loves it. He is more likely to ask for a biscuit than his mother. This doesn't mean that the boys don't play with their younger sister. On the contrary, Jane being younger makes things easier for them.  Jane is able to be directed in play.  She will follow instructions and suggestions for play.  She's also up for anything fun like running around, wrestling and hiding. And she does it with an absolute joy than is infectious even to the boys. 

Don't get me wrong, playing with the boys can be challenging.  Both have sensory difficulties meaning than can be very physical in play. David can be fairly rough and his play repertoire is mostly adaptions of chase.  Anthony can be very demanding, games have to be played as he dictates and sometimes Jane has to put up with a fair amount of shouting when the simple rules aren't followed appropriately.  This is because Anthony enjoys repetition as it means he doesn't have to deal with the unexpected.  They were both diagnosed with ASD within a year when they were around three and four years old has meant we understand them better and are able to help them all play together.  Both boys also need their space too and it's not uncommon for poor Jane to be told 'I don't want to play with you right now.'

Jane had been told such a thing when I went to comfort her yesterday.  I asked her if she was sad because she liked playing with her brothers.  "Yes, I sad. I like playing with my brothers. I love them," she said.  Admittedly, she seems to 'love' everything at the moment. But despite this it was still one of those many times you have as a parent when you know you should have a sad face to show you empathise with your child but you've actually got a smile.  For despite her brother's behaviour being a bit odd, rough and sometimes seemingly mean, she still loves them, even at two and half years old.  I know she may find her brothers difficult to understand as she and they get older but I'll take a bit of love between them all right now. 

Links
Our blog - Normal Repetitive play, watching Jane's development
Our blog - Anthony's always aloud

External links
NAS - Sensory
NAS - Obsessions, routines and repetition